HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo

He's Just Not That Into You

He’s Just Not That Into You

First Printing: 2004
Review By: Daniel Boucher

From the cover:

He’s Just Not That Into You-based on a popular episode of Sex and the City-is tough love advice for otherwise smart women on how to tell when a guy just doesn’t like them enough, so they can stop wasting time making excuses for a dead-end relationship. It’s the best relationship advice you’ll ever receive.

Okay, so I know what you’re thinking: HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU? Uhh, is there something you need to tell us Dan?

Yes, actually, thank you for asking! What I’d like to tell you is that I enjoy reading anything that’s entertaining! Regardless of the intended audience.

(I’ve read every GOOSEBUMPS to date AND I am very happily married to a woman I adore)

And yes, I enjoyed the movie, own it on DVD, and watch it anytime I catch it on TV.

Now, before you go about threatening to take away my man-card, hear me out.

This is a GREAT read for ANY MAN who is in or wants a good/great/awesome relationship. There’s a lot of advice here that can help us to be aware of our actions, take notice of red flags, or–more importantly–make sure that special someone knows we’re interested. The fact is that over time life gets in the way and before we even realize it, we men (although women aren’t excluded) start taking things that we appreciate in our significant other for granted. I’m guilty of it, and if you’re reading this right now, there’s a good chance you are too.

I know this book is geared toward women who constantly find themselves at the shitty end of the stick, but it really has value for everyone. For me, not only was it a terrific (and yes, funny because it’s true), oh-my-god-I’ve-done-that read, but it made me stop and examine myself and my actions, to make sure that my wife knows I’m into her.

Nothing in this book is new, it’s stuff we all know, but pretend doesn’t exist when it comes to relationships. I mean, we’ve all been on that date that we knew was going nowhere from the moment they said ‘Hi’, right? But instead of saying “I’m not into you,” we smiled, walked away and conveniently lost their number.

(And yes, women, you’re guilty of this too)

Now some of you may be thinking or have read that this is a harsh, one-sided view of a man’s take, but I can assure you, Greg speaks for most if not all men here–whether we want him to or not. What you need to note is that there are two authors: Greg and Liz–and Liz is a woman if case you were unsure. After each hard truth from Greg, Liz follows up with her own HERE’S WHY THIS ONE IS HARD take.

Trust me, some of the points Greg makes are real deal-breakers (he’s received threats from men for bringing them to light), but the fact remains they are just as true as they are harsh. Liz has a way of softening the blow though, offering up her own experiences in a way that helps you to realize you’re not alone–or destined to be on your own forever. I found these to be a terrific insight into how a woman thinks/views a situation vs. how men do (they’re different). Together, the author’s make for a great balance–though some of you might find it hitting a little too close to home.

Anyway, in the interest of full disclosure, I will state the I bought the book after I saw the movie HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU (2009). In fact, I didn’t know the book existed until I saw the movie. I recently watched it again and, now that I’m older and *cough* more mature, I found that really enjoyed the interesting dynamic between Gigi and Alex, and the impact their intertwining friendships had. After the credits, I made a mad dash to Amazon, located me a copy with the movie cover’s tie-in, and ordered it. The rest is, as they say, history.

As I was saying earlier, life gets in the way, things get taken for granted, and the next thing you know you’re talking to your friends about how the flame is gone. The fact is, I worked really hard to be where I am today, and I’ll be damned if I have to repeat it, so I’ll take any advice I can that’ll help ensure I never have to.

I will tell my wife I love her, open doors, help with groceries (shopping and carrying), put away my cell phone and actually listen to what she’s saying, control my reactions, and make it a point to say the two most underused words in the English language: Thank You.

It doesn’t matter if you’re single looking for “the one,” or in a happy relationship, you can do a lot worse with your time than read this book. Not only will you find yourself laughing (because it’s true), but you’ll also, like me, have the chance to reflect and ask yourself truthfully: Does your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife know you’re into them?

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